How I lost you
by WindSong1
Summary: Umm, this is kind of like Foxfur remembering how she lost Skywise to a rival, I guess. Written at 2am.


Foxfur and Skywise and everybody else do not belong to me. They belong to Wendy and Richard Pini. Don't sue me. You'll only get about $7.34 anyway.   
  
This was written at about 2 a.m., so it's safe to say this is not my best work. Please review anyway. All flames will be happily forwarded to my wolf-friend, Moonwater, who will kindly tear out the flamer's throat. Have a nice day!!!  
  
  
  
  
Skywise, when did I first realize I was going to lose you to her? That is an impossible question. The answer eludes me, and I find myself searching through my memories to try to find the answer.  
  
I remember when the tribe first saw her. The humans had killed her parents, just as they had killed yours, and Strongbow and Moonshade had stepped forward, asking Bearclaw for permission to raise her as theirs. I could see why, as could the whole tribe. She looked so much like their Cresent, the cub the humans murdered, long before you were born. Timmorn's blood! Even her scent reminded me of Cresent.   
  
We were all fasinated by her. Cubs are rare gifts. Then we realized why there had been 3 Recognitions in as many turns. To make up for her parent's deaths. First Cutter, then her, then Nightfall, 1 turn later. They would play together all the time. You knew that Cutter was your soul-brother from the first, and you were with them often, sometimes joining in their games. Already you shared a special bond with her and Cutter.  
  
I remember how she got in so much trouble, so often. Just as you used to when you were little. As you still sometimes do. Whenever she got hurt form her tumbles with her friends or the wolves, *you* were the first person she ran to. Not to Moonshade. Not to Rain. To you.  
  
I can also recall how Moonshade would hand her over to you to pull the brambles, leaves, twigs, and High Ones-knew-what-else out of her hair. You would also tease out the knots from that 'mahogany mess', as you termed it. The knots would take you a long time, and she would gripe all the while. Sometimes Joyleaf would have you pull all the leaves and knots from Cutter's hair too, but not as often, and it never took you as long as hers. So you called her 'Tangles'. The name stuck.  
  
Another reason most people called her that was because she was always tangled in everything. The 'hazel-eyed whirlwind', according to Moonshade and Joyleaf and the 'terror of the Father Tree' as Pike termed her. But she was always your 'Tangles', and I know she loved it.  
  
I remember the night she cam eback form her soul-quest. I remember how you looked at her. There was something new in your gaze, and both she and I were aware of it. Hunger. You wanted her, but tried to force the thoughts out of your mind. It disgusted you, didn't it, that you felt that for her. That you *could* feel *that* for *her*. *Her*, of all people! She who had always gone to *you* first.   
  
I remember the gift you gave her; a necklace. A silver, 5 pointed star on a delicate silver chain. You later told Cutter that, that night, her eyes had been like stars themselves.  
  
Both of you shared that passion for the velvet of the night sky littered with the little diamonds. I can recall all the times you two sat together under the stars, her leaning her head against your shoulder. Both of you denied that it meant anything, but it was obvious, if only to Cutter and me, that when you were together like that, the world around you faded and all that existed was you, her, and the small twinkling lights overhead.  
  
At the howl held to celebrate her finding her soul-name, I turned and saw you watching her. There was a sudden, hard lump in my throat as I realized what you were seeing; the change from girl- to woman-hood. The change I had been seeing, the things I had to see, magnified as they were by my fear of losing you. I had seen them in painful, razor sharp focus, no matter how I fought against it. The silky brown hair, no longer filled with knots and leaves, now crowned with a small wreath of green vine that set off her hazel eyes. The crooked grin, showing one fang, but keeping the other hidden. I suspected that you were the one that mde that wreath. I later found out I was right. Pike comfirmed that he had seen you making it for her. I realized what had sparked the lust you felt for her. The graceful hips that swayed with her walk, since she tended to swagger slightly with confidence. The confidence *you* raised in her, you and Cutter. Dispite yourself, I saw your gaze drawn to her firm young busom. You were so drawn to her. You wanted her. And she wanted you.  
  
Now, even though I'm fairly far from you, I can hear you both howl your pleasure to your beloved stars. It's your first joining, and the tribe is happy for you. Even Strongbow, who doesn't quite approve of it, is happy that his almost-daughter is happy. I can hear Cutter's voice, filled with triumph, "I told you they were going to be lovemates, Pike. I *told* you!!"   
  
Oh, Skywise! I wish it were *me* that you caress!I wish I could feel your hair tangling through my fingers, wild but still unbelievably soft. I wish I could feel your warm hands on my skin, see your blue eyes, dark as the evening sky, feel your breath on my neck, taste your sweat, hear you cry out next to my ear as you come, hot and sweet and wonderful.  
  
But that right isn't mine anymore. Looking back, it never was. But you find joy, and I am happy for you. Tell windSong... tell her I congradulate her... and that I will hate her forever.   
  



End file.
